


Resolution of the Mind

by Doctor_Hayden



Category: Final Fantasy X, Persona Series
Genre: Canon Era, Evokers mess with your head before you awaken your Persona, F/M, Gen, Persona Q Wild Card, Persona User Self Insert, Rating May Change, SI is not a "Chosen One"- just very lucky, SI's been living in Spira for 6 months
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-07
Updated: 2019-12-07
Packaged: 2021-02-17 22:49:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21701005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doctor_Hayden/pseuds/Doctor_Hayden
Summary: Spira is a beautiful, bizarre, magical place that Ireallywant to explore. It's also horribly, horribly dangerous. Without access to the Sphere Grid, or really any sort of weapons training, I'd be worse than useless to Yuna and her Guardians. Luckily, I have the Wild Card, Persona Q Edition! The awkward part is that I'm gonna need to shoot myself in the head to summon my Personae.That'sgonna be fun to explain...
Relationships: To Be Decided
Kudos: 7





	Resolution of the Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I do my job, talk to some friends, and awaken my Persona. With a side of Fiends.

I strained under the weight of the heavy wicker basket in my arms, staggering forward into the colorfully decorated shop. “Where do you want this, miss?” I hissed out, arms shaking as I continued towards the tropically dressed shopkeep.

“Just over here,” She said, pointing towards a section of the floor off to my left, near the wall- and as I trundled over, I barely avoided smacking the basket into one of the shelves that lined it, each with various knick knacks I was sure she preferred intact.

Some of those pots looked expensive.

Setting down the basket, I flopped my arms a little, hoping to get some actual feeling other than pain back into my biceps. Dimly, I registered the woman’s thanks.

“Oh no problem, ma’am!” I blurted, jolting fully upright. She giggled, taking my distraction in good humor. “Is there anything else you need help with?”

“No,” she replied, her reflexive giggles trailing off, “But take this as a token of my thanks.” She placed 250 gil on the table in front of her.

“Thank you kindly, ma’am,” I said as I grabbed the dosh, “Let me know if you need anything else.”

“I will, thank you!” I smiled at her over my shoulder and exited the building. Glancing down at the currency clasped in my hand, I couldn’t help but take solace in the familiarity of economics. Money being made and spent, goods and services being exchanged; it was nice to be reminded of home, especially when I was so far from it.

I basked in the cool afternoon sea breeze for a few seconds before turning and walking up the main thoroughfare of Besaid Village, towards the temple at the cliff.

These days, the village felt like home. The various tent-like, rounded shops and houses were a familiar sight, and I was on good terms with the people- even if I had trouble with their names sometimes. The village itself was bigger than the one in the game, too; the layout was the same, but it was more _dense._

I was heading to a little ledge near the top of the temple I liked to sit at when I needed to do some thinking, and boy did I have some thinking to do. My hand drifted down to the right pocket of my khaki shorts (which had thankfully held together these last six months), feeling the metallic shape contained within. _Less than a week and a half until Yuna goes to the Fayth, and the pilgrimage-_

I suddenly smacked into something and tumbled to the ground and onto my back, train of thought utterly wrecked. “Shit! Ow…” My nose smarted. Was that someone’s back…?

“Ah, sorry about that!” A hand filled my vision. “You alright, man?” I looked up into the sheepishly smiling face of Wakka, bent over to help me up. With a grunt, he hoisted me up onto my feet.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks, Wakka.”

“Ah, don’t worry about it, ya?” He made to leave, but stopped. “Why weren’t you watchin’ where you’re goin’?” He raised an eyebrow, seemingly genuinely curious.

I smirked wryly, shrugging. “Got a lot on my mind, is all.”

He nodded, understanding. “Eh, it’s fine.” He perked up. “Ah, Lu wanted to see you. Something about making arrangements for the boat.”

Ah, right. I _had_ said I wanted to see more of the world, and the pilgrimage was, as I’d mentioned, right around the corner. “I’ll check in with her in a bit, I got some more thinking to do.”

“Alright, man. See ya later!” He walked off with a wave.

“See you.” I continued on to the temple and scaled up the rough stonework to my thinking ledge. The ledge was actually more of a platform, situated towards the back end of the temple; it had a nice view of the ocean. Luckily it was a short climb up.

I plopped myself down and looked over the churning waves, taking a deep breath and letting the smell of the sea soothe me. I needed my head clear for this. When I said I had a lot to think about, I wasn’t lying. Yuna was going to the Fayth next week to get Valefor, and I had a decision to make.

I’d lived on Besaid for half a year. Those months had fully convinced me that what I saw every day was real, that I was indeed on Spira. I’d already had my obligatory freakout- you know the one- and had already dealt with the resultant… emotional impact. I’d even managed to make a life for myself here.

Granted, it wasn’t the most stable; I was basically an odd-jobs man. I did make good money sometimes, though the jobs that paid _that_ well could be a bit infrequent.

Now, though, I had two options before me. The first was to stay at Besaid and continue to make a living as an extra pair of hands to whomever needed it. A stable life, largely free from danger; though not much of a career path or anything genuinely interesting to get caught up in.

The second was to try and help save the world. Becoming one of Yuna's Guardians would put me in the perfect position to help defeat Sin. Sin alone was one thing, but there were other beings in this world that could be argued to be stronger, waiting for someone to challenge them. And with my luck…

Well. No Sphere Grid, no weapons training; I'd probably die _far_ faster than anyone else. Luckily, I had a way around that. A little something that had appeared on my dresser one morning...

With a slightly trembling hand, I reached into my pocket. What I drew out greatly resembled a gun, though it was missing a magazine well. Emblazoned along its silver barrel were four letters: S E E S.

The Evoker weighed heavily in my hand, though the item itself was light. "It matters not who you are," I whispered to the air, "Death awaits you."

I was probably being a little melodramatic, but the quote was appropriate. Nyx spoke the truth when she unleashed her Avatar’s full power in the climax of Persona 3, and that truth was something I was battling with even now.

By putting the barrel to my head and accepting the words of Nyx, I could become strong, strong enough to help save the world. The question is, did I have the courage to both accept the truth of my mortality and fight in spite of the terror it brings?

Especially because I’d already tried and failed once.

"Well," I mused, "Guess I'm gonna find out."

* * *

“God DAMN it!” I spiked the Evoker into the soft, pliant soil beneath my feet. Turns out, I couldn’t do it. Intellectually, I knew that the thing wasn’t a real gun, but the feel of it… urgh.

So, after climbing down from my perch, I’d found my way to a heavily forested section of Besaid Island in order to keep my (potential) Persona’s existence on the down-low. Summoners were a big deal in this culture, and while Persona don’t actually look all that much like Aeons, there were enough parallels that I was wary of trying this out in the village for fear of attracting as-yet unwanted attention.

Of course, this might’ve been for nothing, unless I could find a way to bridge the gap between getting the thing pressed to my head and actually pulling the fucking trigger. That, in particular, was something I was finding it very hard to do.

This was essentially my last-ditch attempt; this thing’s psychological effects had messed with me so much the _first_ time I tried five months ago that I basically just said “fuck that” and ignored it until today.

“Ok,” I sighed, “One more try. Then I guess I’ll have to give up for the day; still gotta talk to Lulu…” I retrieved the small pseudo-gun, brushing off the dirt that had gotten all over it. I honestly wasn’t entirely sure if getting gunked up would mess with its functionality, so I needed to be careful.

Sighing once more, I raised the Evoker to my temple. The metal of the barrel gently kissed my skin, and that now-familiar terror- you know the one, the kind that pops up when you _know_ you’re about to get hurt or die- pooled in my gut, and my heartbeat skyrocketed.

It was that same terror that had prevented me from pulling the trigger the last time(s) I’d tried.

Taking a deep breath, I lowered my arm and continued my heavy breathing, attempting to center myself. Thankfully, the pounding in my ears lessened.

“C’mon Marcus,” I massaged the bridge of my nose. “You can do this, you know you can. Just gotta-” I made to raise the Evoker once more, but was stopped by a sudden… sloshing sound from behind me. Jumping in shock, I spun around and came face to face with- _Oh shit that’s a Fiend._

To be a bit more precise, it was a Water Flan. This particular type of Fiend was decently well-known back home thanks to FFX’s main combat tutorial, where you learned about elemental weaknesses by having Lulu shock a couple of these into steam and pyreflies with Thunder.

Unfortunately, I did not have a Lulu on hand. I also didn’t have any sort of item that would let me do electricity damage, and these things were _hilariously_ resistant to physical attacks.

The evil liquid pastry’s eyes shined with malice as it sloshed closer, its slasher smile widening a tad at the sight of prey. As I backed up in fright, I could actually see more Water Flan behind it, though they were a few dozen yards off- unfortunately, they were getting closer.

“Shit,” I glanced over my shoulder and angled my retreat to the left, hopefully avoiding a tree I’d spotted. I couldn’t afford to get cornered; these might’ve been basic enemies in the game, but they could kill me almost as easily as any major boss could.

"Ok gents," I blurted, panic overwhelming the more rational side of my brain, "Let's not fight now, eh? I mean, I wouldn't really-"

My plea died as a visible aura of energy enveloped the lead Flan. _Shit, that’s magic-_ I realized, quickly turning to run- just in time for a torrent of water to slam into my back and send me flying.

I must’ve been tossed at least five feet, because when I hit the ground I _bounced_ , which was extremely painful.

After tumbling to a stop, all I could do was groan. My body ached something fierce, and I was sure a few of my bones had cracked. Pain dominated my senses, and I felt true fear. Was I… was I really going to die here? _Now,_ before I’d even had a chance to really _live?_

 **_bum-bump-_ ** _No. Not here, not now. I’ve got too much left to do to die just yet!_ Fear gave way to rage, and I pulled myself up off of my stomach.

“I ain’t… dying here,” I staggered upright, “not to weak little- _ngh-_ insignificant things like you!” I raised the evoker-

 **_Bum-bump-_ ** **So, you’ve finally taken up the sword, eh?** My head throbbed-

 **_Bum-Bump-_ ** **That’s good to hear; I’ve been waiting far too long. The bargain is struck.** The pain built as the barrel kissed my temple-

 ** _Bum-BUMP-_** **I am Thou; Thou art I. Cast off your shell of mediocrity; the salvation of mankind is your** ** _cause_** **_HENCEFORTH!_** The pain reached its peak as I squeezed the trigger-

“PERSONA!”

With the loud bang of a gunshot and the sound of shattering glass, a burst of blue flame swirled into existence around me. There wasn’t any force to it, but the three Flan seemed to recoil in surprise. After a second, the flames coalesced into a form behind me and- “Zio!”- a bolt of lightning lanced out, spearing into the nearest Flan and splattering it into Pyreflies.

My Persona was a humanoid, thankfully, armored in a green suit with bronzeish plates attached to it at various points. A tactical vest sat on his torso, and he clutched an impressive assault rifle in his left hand.

Atop his head sat a helmet I recognized- that of a Demonica, the DEMOuntable Next Integrated Capability Armor. That meant that this guy was…

 **I am the chronicler of the Strange Journey, Hitonari,** my Persona floated closer, racking the bolt of its rifle. **I am the will to fight that slumbers within you; if you still want it, I’ll give you the power to be more than you once were.**

I couldn’t help but laugh. “I’ll take that power,” I said, “I’ll take it all. In a world like this, I’m gonna need it.”

 **Good answer,** he chuckled, **Use my power well.** He faded away, slipping back into the confines of my mind. My body stopped aching, as well; I’d apparently been healed by the awakening somehow?

Taking a deep breath to center myself, I turned to the last two Flan. They were sitting about twenty yards away from me, and appeared mildly stunned. They were weak to Electricity damage- hilariously so, given a single _Zio_ had annihilated one of them.

Yeah, I could handle this.

“You Jello-looking bastards started this, so let’s finish it!” I raised the Evoker once more. This time, there was no terror- just a calm focus, and the trigger pull was far, _far_ smoother than I’d expected it to be. The glass-shattering gunshot came far easier than it had the first time.

“Ravage them, Hitonari!” Oh god, I'd always wanted to say that! The Zio lanced out of my Persona’s gun as it shattered into existence above me, spearing through the center of the second Flan and evaporating it into Pyreflies. The other Flan jumped and… scuttled- somehow- backwards, an aura of magic building around it.

“Oh, no, not again-” I moved to summon Hitonari again, but the spell went off just before I got my Evoker into position and drove itself straight into my chest. “Urghk-!” I coughed out, the impact knocking the wind out of me- except I wasn’t sent flying, just skidding back a couple feet. I even managed to stay upright!

Guess Persona really did make their users more durable.

Gasping for air, I choked out a “Zio!” and blasted the last fucker into steam, Hitonari patting me on the shoulder before fading away. Now that the fight was over, I took a second or two to catch my breath.

“Hahaha! I actually did it!” I crowed, happier than I’d been in a long time. Part of that happiness was actually the exhilaration of winning a fight (my first win ever!), but the rest was pure, unrestrained happiness at having a _Persona_ . It was just… so _cool!_

“Haha yeeaa-” “BAWK!” “-aaAAGH!” I dived to the ground in a panic just before something swung through where my head had been.

Flipping onto my back, I beheld three Condor-type Fiends flying in the air- one of them circling around to rejoin the other two from where it had flown when it missed me. I honestly had no idea why they were called Condor; they looked more like the bastard children of herons and pelicans.

“Looks like my celebration was premature then,” I huffed as I climbed to my feet, “Can’t believe I didn’t think the noise would attract more Fiends…” I did get tunnel vision sometimes. Something to work on later.

With a loud caw, the second Condor made its attack- and was met halfway by Hitonari’s _second_ skill, Snap. The report of my Persona’s gun almost drowned out its cut-off cry of shock as the lance of force slammed into and through its neck, decapitating it.

Since I couldn’t actually keep Hitonari out for longer than a couple seconds or so, I allowed him to fade away, and immediately dived into a roll to dodge the third Condor’s swipe. I tracked the beast’s movements, and moved to summon just as a white-hot lance of _pain_ bloomed across my back. I’d forgotten the first one; it’d used the third’s distraction to score a hit on me.

“Shit,” I swore reflexively. I’d forgotten a couple things; one- that Fiends can actually be smart, and two- that I should have brought a couple potions. One of the cardinal rules of RPG gaming was “always have healing, be it spells or items.” which applies doubly for if you’re living in the world of one.

My head jerked from the Evoker’s force, and another Snap pierced the first Condor’s center mass, silencing its triumphant caws. As it dissolved, I turned my attention to the last Condor, the Fiend hovering in place and glaring at me. For a second, its eyes flicked about as I prepped for what would hopefully be my final Evocation of the fight, before it swooped at me- it obviously realized it couldn’t trick me like it had before, not when I was focusing on it.

Hitonari met it halfway.

His gloved left hand clamped around the Fiend’s long neck, arresting its movement for him to heft it like a freshly killed chicken. It writhed in a desperate attempt to escape, but it was all for naught- my Persona stuck his rifle flush against the beast’s stomach, and blew a hole in it with a final casting of Snap.

The Condor evaporated, and a wakizashi- sheath and all- fell… to the… ground?

“Holy shit, there’s _DROPS?!"_

* * *

“Hey, Lulu,” I paused at the entrance to the reddish, hemispheric house Lulu called home, wakizashi on my hip and a Potion in my back pocket- I’d had two, but I’d used one to heal up my back- and my shirt, too, as it turns out. It also turns out that you actually _do_ use those things by tossing them up over your head. (I'd checked for more drops after the Wakizashi appeared.)

“Ah, Marcus,” She met me at the house’s threshold in her usual dress, eyebrow quirking at the sight of my new wakizashi. “That’s certainly a new addition.” Ah, right; I hadn’t been carrying a weapon before now.

“Spira’s a crazy place,” I smiled sardonically. The two of us moved out into the village proper, towards the Crusaders’ little base- apparently all the major shipping and transportation companies, if you could even use that word around here, did business using their outposts as a way to get easy bodyguards, what with Sin’s existence and all. “I figured I should have a little something, just in case things get crazy.”

“Besides,” I pulled the blade an inch or so out of its sheath, “It’s a dagger. It’s not too complicated to use.”

“A fair point. I would recommend being careful with it regardless.”

“That just common sense and you know it,” As we walked, my eyes reflexively flicked down to Lulu’s cleavage- something I’d been trying _not_ to do ever since I’d met her- and lingered for longer than was probably appropriate. An equally reflexive look up at her face told me she'd noticed; her visible eyebrow was raised, and she had a small smirk- the 'yeah, yeah' kind, not the 'I'm gonna smack you' kind.

 _Eyes front,_ I commanded myself, and took a deep breath once they’d been positioned so- I may not have been the first or last to stare at her chest, but I could at least be polite about it; especially if she was willing to forgive a little glance.

We stopped outside the barracks, and she turned to me, possibly about to caution me like she had the first time I asked about accompanying them on the ship when I held up a bag full of gil. “You said it was 1500 right? There you go.”

She stared at it, mildly shocked, before sighing. “You still want to go, then. Despite the dangers.”

I smiled, genuinely this time- but a little sadly too. “Yeah, I do. Besaid is nice, but I wanna get out there- see the world and all the unbelievable things that are in it.” I wasn’t even lying; Spira’s a beautiful place, and I couldn’t wait to experience everything it has to offer.I just didn’t mention that I wanted to tag along with them a bit more permanently, i.e. as one of Yuna’s guardians.

Lulu sighed once more, a wry smile on her lips. “Very well, then. I’ll take care of the details, I suppose.” She moved to enter the barracks, before pausing. “If you’re going to watch the tournament, make sure to bring some gil to donate.”

Ah, that must be how the prize money is raised, among other things. “Of course. See you later, Lulu.”

She nodded a farewell and went inside, leaving me standing out here without anything to do. _What to do now_ … _food and sleep, I guess._ I nodded to myself and went on my way.

An hour and a half later, I collapsed onto my bed, thoroughly exhausted. I was asleep almost immediately after my head hit the pillow.

* * *

“Welcome to the Velvet Room!” Four exuberant voices crowed.

At the noise, I curled into a foetal position and groaned in protest. _You have_ **_got_ ** _to be kidding me; I just wanted some sleep!_

<~~To be Continued~~<

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe I actually did this. I feel like a champ now!
> 
> Thanks to the peeps who helped me polish this up.


End file.
